why I acted like that.”
I waited.
“My therapist keeps asking why understanding it would make it less harmful.”
I glanced at Ivy.
Grant continued.
“I think I was angry.”
“At me?”
“At everything.”
He sat on the sofa.
“After she was born, I felt like I became irrelevant in my own house.”
I stayed quiet.
“I know how that sounds.”
“No.
Keep going.”
He looked at his hands.
“You knew what she needed.
You knew how to hold her.
You knew which cry meant hungry and which meant tired.
You knew the pediatrician’s number.
You knew when we were low on diapers.
I’d come home and feel like you two had lived this entire day without me.”
“That wasn’t my choice.”
“I know.”
He swallowed.
“At work, I knew who I was.
People needed me.
I solved things.
Then I came home and couldn’t get my own daughter to