want calm,” Grant said, “create it.”
I held Ivy closer.
“I’m trying.”
“Are you?”
His tone was worse than shouting.
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I’d heard it when Ivy cried during conference calls, when a diaper-delivery box remained in the foyer, or when I forgot his sparkling water.
Every small imperfection seemed to conceal the same accusation.
What exactly do you do all day?
Sometimes he asked outright.
That afternoon, he finally voiced something worse.
“Sometimes I think Ivy is becoming an excuse.”
I struggled to understand.
“An excuse for what?”
“For everything.”
He gestured toward the kitchen.
“The house.
You being tired all the time.
You forgetting things.
You never wanting to go anywhere.
Every conversation is about naps or feeding or pumping or whatever schedule you’ve decided we’re following this week.”
I glanced at Ivy, whose eyelashes rested against her cheeks.
She